WITH NO ONE AS WITNESS

Elizabeth George writes excellent mysteries and this is the best one I've read yet. It follows two London police detectives, Lynley and Havers, as they track down a serial killer, and George turns a seemingly routine thriller plot into a stunning tour de force that had me fighting back tears in the last few chapters. I just learned that PBS has done some shows featuring the two detectives. I'm curious to see how tv does these outstanding characters, so richly detailed that they seem real people. Highest recommendation.

ERYKAH BADU AT HARMONY FESTIVAL/CAR ACCIDENT

We travelled up to Santa Rosa to the Harmony Festival on Saturday to see Erykah Badu. The Harmony Festival is an annual three day event where aging hippies and new jack hippies come together for three days of music, camaraderie, a lot of weed and psychedelic ingestion, tribal dances, tons of new age vendors and some outstanding live music on several stages. The crowd was colorful and off the chain in their apparel choices and they kept us entertained as we walked around the Sonoma County Fairgrounds where the festival was held. We even got to see pop folk jazz chanteuse Rickie Lee Jones sing the last song of her set, and she looked and sounded terrific.

Erykah Badu is one of the finest singers, songwriters and performers we have working today, and she enthralled the crowd with a 90 minute set which opened with a new song, the anthemic "Hip Hop Is...," and continued on through career highlights like "On and On," a poignant "Other Side of the Game," a surprising "Green Eyes" and "Penitentiary Philosophy," a rousing old school hip hop medley ranging from Slick Rick to Grandmaster Flash, and including crowd pleasing turns on her hits, "Tyrone" and "Love of My Life." She came right into the audience and has us singing with her on "Bag Lady," and she held the microphone right in front of Lamarr as he sang along with her. Now that was a thrilling moment - the first collaboration between Skarlo Paine and Erykah Badu. Out of this world!

Unfortunately, minutes after leaving the parking lot enroute to the freeway, a teenager ran a red light and smashed into my silver Saturn, rendering it possibly totalled. Thank God for my sister Cathy, who lives in Santa Rosa, and came and got us, and the wonderful police officers who aided us, as well as the four (!!) witnesses who stayed to give statements backing us up. We'll need them as the kid is claiming his light was green, not ours. I remembered this morning to thank my Higher Power for this experience, even though it feels awful. I don't know where it is leading and I'm keeping faith.

Gratitude. Now that's a concept Erykah Badu would definitely agree with.

BOTTOMS

There are as many ways to reach your bottom as there are people to reach them. And there are many different kinds of bottoms. Speaking from experience. Losing my job, car, housing, friends, family, self-respect, dignity, all sense of ease and even belonging in the world over and over again were not enough until I'd had enough.

And when I was ready, it was on.

Didn't realize I would continue to reach bottoms in areas of my life that had to do with my thinking and attendant behaviors, and it has taken me years to understand that bottoms are gifts.

I'm just sayin'...

NEW YORK CITY: DAY ONE

The Peter Pan Bonanza Bus ride to New York City took about five hours and deposited us at the Port Authority, which was .2 miles from our hotel, The Best Western Convention Center. That translated into six long New York city blocks in humid, sweltering 90 degrees plus heat with multiple pieces of luggage. But we eventually made it to the hotel. Good thing, because we would be making that trek quite a few times over the next four madcap, fast-paced days.

The less said about our hotel, the better. If you want to read about our lodging experience, you can find more info here:

http://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g60763-d235228-r7751297-Best_Western_Convention_Center_Hotel-New_York_City_New_York.html

As soon as we'd changed, it was out the door and to Times Square, minds reeling from all the people and electronic stimuli. We were on a mission to find Ray's Pizza and mangia mangia some of their awesome strombolis and meatball rolls. Somehow we found it in the midst of all the mayhem and chowed down on our best New York City meal. We love Ray's Pizza. We stopped in there twice more, both times after the theatre, and they were already sold out of their amazing meat strombolis. You know what that means! We have to go back to New York City!

We stopped for a photo op at the Brill Building, 1619 Broadway, where most of the classic girl group songs I love so much were composed by songwriters like Ellie Greenwich, Jeff Barry, Barry Mann, Mark Barkan, Artie Wayne, Ben Raleigh, etc. As I posed at the door, a mother and daughter walked by and the mother realized what I was doing and gave me a huge grin. I knew she understood.

That night we rode the subway down to Chelsea and hiked around that area. It was our first time there and we loved it. It's where the boys are, for sure, and the nightclubs and restaurants were jam packed. Next we hit Greenwich Village, which was not as seedy as it was last visit (2004) but has yet to reclaim its glory days as the center of Big Apple gay life, but is picturesque in its own faded way.

Exhausted, we trudged back to the hotel with a snack for a good night's sleep, looking forward to Day Two.

Two Days in Cape Cod

So there we were, catching a jetblue redeye into Boston enroute to Cape Cod, the first visit for both of us. Our hosts, Linda and Michael Gillespie, had been inviting us for several years and I couldn't turn down the $99 airfare, so I figured this must be a sign: time to go to Cape Cod! And, as long as we're so close, a few days in Manhattan would be just the ticket.

We arrived in Boston just in time to catch the P&B bus to Barnstable, which would have been perfect except that we missed our stop and got off in Hayannis instead and had to grab a taxi back to it. Michael G was there waiting for us in all his glory and, after picking up a Dunkin Donuts coffee (why is their coffee so highly rated? beats me!), he gave us a wonderful introductory tour of his area of the Cape in all its beaches and ocean grandeur. We when escorted to their house, an amazingly outfitted two story Cape Cod original, complete with sun porch, gazebo, deck and perfect little touches inside and out.

After a wonderful lunch on the beach at Hemisphere, joined by Mike's wife, Linda, and his delightful sister, Susan, we took a healthy hike to a lookout point called The Knob where the views were fantastic. Mike had been telling me for years of his gourmet talents, and at lobster dinner, his claims turned out to be understatement! What a fabulous meal. Two of their friends from volunteering in an AIDS organization were at dinner, also, and they were very interesting. Linda's apple pie and Mike's outrageous carrot cake were irresistible.

That night, Mike let Lamarr and I take one of their cars and drive to Provincetown, or P-Town as it is known to locals. The drive took about an hour and suddenly there we were in the middle of countless blocks of (mostly) gay men and women carousing and enjoying life. P-Town was awesome. It makes San Francisco's Castro Street look like a one-horse rest stop!

The next morning Mike and Linda prepared a delicious brunch, complete with crab and swiss omelette roll, fresh fruit and blueberry muffins. Post-brunch, Mike and I watched a video of Lesley Gore (a shared musical passion) singing "A Lot of Livin' to Do" and "When Sunny Gets Blue" on a 1967 Mike Douglas Show, which I loved. A trip to Chatham and a picturesque lighthouse on the beach followed, before taking in the film "Waitress" (okay) and going to Frostys for yet another scrumptious repast, this time lobster rolls and fish and chips. Mike went home and Lamarr, Linda, Susan and I went to Sundae School for homemade ice cream.

That night we just hung out and talked up a storm as we all had to get up early, them for work and us for the bus ride to NYC.

Wonderful whirlwind Cape Cod adventure! We loved it and we will be back!

Jim Allio and Lamarr Standberry On Vacation

Hard to believe just a week ago at this time Lamarr and I were walking around Manhattan. We had a marvelous vacation in Cape Cod with the Gillespies and in the Big Apple seeing Broadway and off-Broadway plays, eating Rays Pizza strombolis and meatball rolls along with other deliciosities, shopping and walking all over that crazy town! More to come...

This photo is from the Guggenheim Museum across from Central Park. The museum is undergoing renovation and the art installations were skimpy, except for this crazy disco dance floor where you could dance to 50 Cent and take pictures. That was fun!

Bjork at Shoreline: The Pleasure Is All Ours

Fantastic show, esoecially for hardcore Bjork fans. The focus was on intense, pulsating electronic balladry and Bjork's powerful, emotive voice. The material was primarily less accessible but superb songs from "Homogenic," "Vespertine," et al, interspersed with the excellent new "Volta" material, opening with a chugging "Earth Intruders." Lots of colorful characters in the audience and plenty of flava, too! Classic dance hitmaker Bjork didn't appear until the final few numbers, with a smoking "Army of Me" and the always undeniable "Hyperballad," my all-time favorite and evidently loved by many in attendance. The accompaniment and backing choir were flawless and the final encore of the incendiary "Declare Independence" sent us out into the chilled night with a roar. We needed the extra energy to deal with the Shoreline's horrific parking lot and its lack of a cohesive way out. One day they will have as many people guiding you out of the lot as they do showing you where to park.

Singing "evilshallowassways" at Laney

So this past Tuesday my voice teacher, Lucy Kinchen, announced to our class of 60 or so voice students that she had some very talented class members that she wanted to impose upon to perform for the class. To my surprise, she began speaking about me, telling the class that I had a CD out and that I was a real poet and had my own style of singing and music and she wanted me to do one of my songs for the class. She also said my songs had strong messages that needed to be heard. I was so flattered. After class I asked her which song she wanted me to do, and I had surprise number two. She wanted me to do "evilshallowassways." This was unexpected because Ms. Kinchen leads a gospel chorale specializing in Negro spirituals and I just never thought that would be a song she liked but she said she loves it, so I agreed to do it.

Returning home, I searched through stacks of tracks and found a CD copy of the backing track for the song and began practicing it. Immediately I remembered what a challenge that song was. First, it is sung in a lower register than is normal for me. Second, it is all vocals over a dancey trancey beat and there is barely time to breathe throughout. I tried out different hand gestures and body movements for the performance and was satisfied that I was ready.

I called my producer and co-writer, Skarlo Paine, and he met me at Laney College on Thursday morning. When it came time for performance, Ms. Kinchen again big upped me and my project, saying the music was very avant garde with a lot of heart and passion. I felt ten feet tall hearing those complementary words from one of the most influential people in my entire life. We put the CD in the ancient CD player, went to Track 3 and the track began to play...and it skipped the intro and went straight past where I would begin to sing! We tried again, same thing. Someone in the class yelled out, "Hey, better late than never!" Of course they got jokes.

I introduced Skarlo in the audience and I just began singing right where the track was and the class wasn't ready for the inyourfaceness of the song but they were either smiling and nodding their heads or their mouths were hanging open. Not what many expected, no doubt, and my voice wasn't where I wanted it to be, but I just hung in, got into the song and the beat and the message and soared. It was nerve-wracking and fun at the same time. As I got to the final chorus repeat before the fade-out, the track stopped and went right into the next song. The class began clapping, someone shouted, "Now tell us how you really feel!" and I ended. I don't know who was more relieved, me or the class, but I did note Lucy Kinchen's facial expression. She was very proud and happy. That is good enough for me.

It was a great experience because I showed up and did it. Maybe everything didn't go perfectly, but I still sang my song, an authentic representation of who I am and I love the song. I am so honored that Ms. Kinchen asked me to perform it and I'm ecstatic that she likes my work enough to promote it in this way and give me a wonderful opportunity to bring it to an audience. And it definitely is what it is...

"The Hip Hop Project" A Superb Documentary That Really Touches A Chord

The reviews were good. The premise was interesting: following a group of teenagers making a hip hop album and changing their lives, hopefully not "Fame" or "Let's Put On A Show Kids" for the new millenium. I love hip hop. So we made our way to the Emery Bay Theatres after a delicious and judiciously paced dim sum at Old Place on Grand Avenue in Oakland. But when I walked into the stadium styled movie house and discovered I was the only one there five minutes before showtime, I had to wonder. "Oh yeah," I thought, "We'll have a private screening!" A handful more patrons straggled in as the previews ran.

Then "The Hip Hop Project" began, and within minutes audience size and any other considerations were swept away by the sheer power of this superb documentary and the stories of the young artists it chronicles. The main protagonist is Bahamian-born Kazi, abandoned twice by his mother, homeless through much of his teenage years and rescued by a publicly funded arts school and mentoring by rap legend, Doug E. Fresh. Kazi overcomes his prodigious life obstacles and goes on to head up an arts school Hip Hop Project in New York City, with the goal of corralling talented teenagers and not only helping them get started in the music business, but teaching them integrity, ethics and compassion along the way. Lofty goals, and it is to Kazi's credit that he succeeds admirably with the two main youngsters profiled here, Cannon and Princess.

Cannon's mother has recently died of complications from multiple sclerosis and Princess has endured an abortion that has left her torn and troubled as well as the incarceration of her father on drug charges. Kazi helps them to put their pain in their music and transcend the drugs, hos, cars and money cliches rampant in today's gangsta dominated hip hop and the results are thrilling. The journey from establishing the school through the individual triumphs and growth is riveting, and none as much as Kazi's own courageous self-confrontation when he reconnects with the mother who threw him away and makes an honest effort to begin a new relationship, as well as his struggle to establish his own artistic identity and his budding romance with a stunning and smart music industry mover.

Bruce Willis and Russell Simmons make appearances supporting the project, and there is a fundraiser at an uptown party full of gay men and society women that ended up being surprisingly sweet. I found myself identifying strongly with all three main artists as they pursued their dreams, creating music that honestly reflects what they are going through and following their vision through to a finished product. I was moved to tears at several points in this amazing film and felt very connected to what was going on by dint of the fact that I have just recently completed a similar journey with my own CD.

As we left the theatre, I turned to Skarlo Paine and said, "Makes you wanna set up the recording equipment again and get busy, doesn't it?" He agreed, adding that I had just put out my record. His came out in 2005. But I can still write towards it!

Skarlo Paine's "Distorted Melodies" A Preview of Things to Come

Skarlo Paine is one of my very favorite songwriters, singers and producers and created one of my all-time favorite recordings, the stunning "Distorted Melodies." It's a moody, percolating sonic journey that never fails to reveal new layers of meaning and emotion to me no matter how often I listen to it. Paine's beats are fresh and innovative; his soundscapes keep me noddin' my head and getting lost in the music; his vocals are intricate and very, very smart; and his songs are original and progressive. He calls his music triphopsoul and it is an excellent tag for his amazing work. I was honored to be asked to co-write and sing one song on his record, "Help Me," which grew out of times we spent riding around in my car and listening to new tracks he'd fashioned which I riffed over and ultimately turned into the song. You can find his music on cdbaby.com or myspace.com and other sites.

Our initial forays into recording together led to a full collaboration on my own CD, "Better Late Than Never," and it was a real thrill working with him. I've had the privilege of sneak previewing his new material and, believe me, it will be worth the wait. He is growing by leaps and bounds as a songwriter, singer and producer and the results will be heard sometime soon.

http://groups.msn.com/PresentingSkarLo

http://myspace.com/distortedmelodies

Listen to Demos

To hear demos for three of the songs on "Better Late Than Never," go here:

http://myspace.com/aheyheynow

Enjoy!

Cesar and "The Host"

Quick! Name two words that link the two items in this post's title. Hint: the third photo, of me at a sidewalk trattoria in an alley in Venice, preparing to devour my own personal prosciutto crudo pizza. You guessed correctly! The two words are Healthy Appetite!

You bring a healthy appetite to Cesar, a marvelous eatery on Piedmont Avenue my sister, the writer Marianne Lonsdale, took me to recently for my birthday lunch. We had some extremely savory tapas, including a mint and lamb sandwich, and a platter of smoked meats to die for, as well as some thick cut spicy sauced fried potato wedges. The menu definitely warrants further exploration. Cesar lives up to its reputation.

And then there's "The Host," the Korean sci-fi flick with the Bush administration critique subtext, without a doubt the best monster movie in years. Lotsa jumps and scares, lotsa laughs and mucho heart, too, and the locally designed monster is fascinating and convincing. And his appetite is...healthy. Trust and believe.

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

Words & Music by Jim Allio & Lamarr Standberry

Thought I'd missed the boat
Thought it sailed without me
Missed the punchline of the joke
While people laughed around me

Thought I was too late
Thought time's up was my fate
When much to my surprise
The door opened wide

Life welcomed me, welcomed me, heyeyeayeah
Life welcomed me, welcomed me, oh yeah yeah
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never

Thought I held the joker in the deck
Used to a messy emotional wreck
Baby boomer, late bloomer
Happened later rather than sooner

Life welcomed me, welcomed me
Life welcomed me, welcomed me
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never
Better, better late than never

Coffee from Peets and an iced maple scone
Watching Lesley Gore from the second row
Jogging 'round the Lake, it's a date
Then we'll stop by Bake...sale Bettys

Chillin' in the condo, hangin' out at Bimbo's
Best seats for The Roots
Feel so good, feel so loose
After hours with Slum and Dwele
Drivin' home from LA
Friends do a slow burn
Eiffel lunch at Jules Verne
Vegas, Paris, London
New York, Rome and then some

Better, better late than never...

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music and whitchoc38 Music

Musiq Soulchild At The Independent: Still Your B-U-D-D-Y

He came on stage twenty minutes late and twenty minutes into his set announced he would have to cut his show short to catch a plane to New York City. There were problems with the sound and with his ear monitors. He did a lot of talking and, on the hits, often just held the microphone towards the audience so they could do the work of actually singing the songs. There was a gamely performed but superfluous fifteen minute tribute to Rick James, Gerald Levert and James Brown - this from a man who in his first three albums could have filled up an entire performance with nothing but neo-soul classics. He danced some and shook hands, hugged and high fived as many of his ecstatic fans as he could reach from the stage, and he mugged for hundreds of digital cameras, cameraphones and camcorders. He did a medley of some of his hits, and full-on versions of a couple more. He actually included the biggest song from his underrated "Soul Star" album of a few years back, "Just for the Night," which he'd failed to do in his last local show at The Fillmore around the time of its release, and then led the audience in a singalong of the crazy creative title song.

It almost sounds like he was a disappointment. And yet...and yet...at times he sang like a reincarnated straight-up jazz singer, scatting and vocalesing his way through material that didn't realize it could be jazzified. His personality was winning and his showmanship superb. The term crowd-pleaser was invented for just such a performer as Musiq Soulchild. He teased the audience with promises of his current single, the summertime smash that is peaking in winter, the irresistible "Buddy," and even credited the inspiration for the song, the bass line from Taana Gardner's dancefloor giant, "Heartbeat."

It is in "Buddy" that the appeal of Musiq Soulchild has been distilled and finessed. He has always been our Buddy - the guy next door in love with the girl next door, hip, cool, but not too cool to be corny when it was called for, able to express the romantic dilemmas of that guy he portrays so well. Even when Musiq is trying to be a hard rock superstar (a hard on the ears metal show complete with audience dives at the Giftcenter one drizzly Valentines Day) or Vegas it up with the aforementioned tribute medley to fallen r&b stars, he remains knowable. Of course, the guy next door has rock star fantasies and, given the chance to live them out, he's gonna do it! Of course, despite the fact that he has written some of the most telling, candid, perceptive songs about modern romance of the past ten years, he doesn't want to be regarded as "soft." He's just like the guy next door, and underneath it all, still our Buddy.

Take Heart (Interlude)

TAKE HEART (INTERLUDE)

Written by Jim Allio & Lamarr Standberry

Take heart, we're all in the same boat
Take heart, we're all in the same boat
Take heart, we're all in the same boat
This too will pass
This too will pass
This too will pass
This too will pass

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music & whitchoc38 Music

"Zodiac" & "Daddy's Little Girls": The Best of Early 2007

Without a doubt, my two favorite films so far this year are "Tyler Perry's Daddy's Little Girls" and David Fincher's "Zodiac." Yes, I know Perry is sometimes critiqued for being obvious and sentimental, but I'm a schmaltzy guy at times and I find his melodramas packed with situations I can identify with, people I recognize from my own life, and emotions very close to the surface. "Daddy's Little Girls" does not feature Medea or any of his more stock characters, but this story of an auto mechanic (the magnificent Idris Elba) trying to wrest custody of his three daughters from his scandalous ex-wife and her drug dealing boyfriend with the grudging help of a corporate lawyer (add hysterically funny to Gabrielle Union's bursting resume). Packed with drama, solid bellylaughs and not a few tears, it also stars the McLain sisters as the hero's children and they are cuter than cute.

Totally different but equally engrossing, "Zodiac" tells the story of the San Francisco Bay Area's most notorious (and still uncaught) serial killer. Based on the book by San Francisco Chronicle cartoonist Robert Graysmith, it is fascinating, spooky and riveting. Although more than two and a half hours long, I did not want to miss one minute of this superbly acted film. Robert Downey, Jr., Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Ruffalo, Chloe Sevigny, Brian Cox and Arthur Leigh Allen (creepy!!) more than hold the screen and the cinematography is superb. I was around when the Zodiac was sending his letters to local papers and committing murders, and remember how scary that time was, and director David Fincher captures the 1970s milieu brilliantly. This may well be among the very best films of the year when all is said and done.

IN MY RIDE

IN MY RIDE

Written by Jim Allio & Lamarr Standberry

Think I'll drive into that wall

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

I think I'll drive into that wall

Think I'll drive into that wall

The car ahead of me

Swerves and hits that tree

Pop! Snap! Just like that!

It could be me

Is that man free?

Think I'll drive into that wall

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' bout suicide in my ride

Think I'll drive into that wall

Think I'll drive into that wall

This feeling came out of nowhere

Don't know why I wanna do it

Seems like there's nothing to it

(Do it, just do it)

Tired of the family, tired of my job

Tired of feeling like a loser and a slob

Sick of this depression and every 12 step session

Doctor, sponsor, clueless shrink

How in the hell do I stop the way I think

Think I'll drive into that wall

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Thinkin' 'bout suicide in my ride

Think I'll drive into that wall

Think I'll drive into that wall

Jump off the building, it's the same feeling

Jump off the building, it's the same feeling

Thinkin' bout suicide in my ride...

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music and whitchoc38 Music

Be Still & Know

BE STILL & KNOW

Words & Music by Jim Allio & Lamarr Standberry

When I'm lost and troubled and need a friend

Some gentle counsel, I go within

First I say thank you

Then I close my eyes

Then I just breathe

What's next is always a surprise

Be still & know

It's me I am

Be still & know

It's all in me

Be still & know

I find when I

Be still & know

It's an inside job

When I'm out of control and I've lost my way

When I don't know what to do or say

And I even forget how to pray

Grace pulls me back

Back to myself

Be still & know

It's me I am

Be still & know

It's all in me

Be still & know

I find when I

Be still & know...

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music & whitchoc38 Music

SURRENDER

SURRENDER

Words & Music by Jim Allio & Lamarr Standberry

I had to surrender to win
My defeat and my pain became my greatest assets
It's a paradox
What's done is done
It's in the past
So why do old feelings keep coming back?

Surrender

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music & whitchoc38 Music

BLUR

BLUR

Words & Music by Jim Allio &
Lamarr Standberry

I was walking down the street

In the early morning fog

Heading for the Lake

To sit with Thich Nhat Hanh

When a man appeared before me

As I passed him, he said

"Happy Thanksgiving"

When I looked back, he was gone

Was it real, or waking dream?

The line between what we feel

And what we see

Combines to create our reality

And blur, blur, blur

And blur, blur, blur

The line between what we feel and what we see

Combines to create our reality

And blur, blur, blur

And blur, blur, blur

You left us much too soon

Think you were ready to go

I spoke at your memorial

Said I'd felt you in the wind

When I left your house,

I saw your station wagon

The driver turned, smiled and waved

And she drove up the hill

It was you, it was you

It was you, it was you

Was it real or waking dream?

Was it real or waking dream?

The line between what we feel and what we see

Combines to create our reality

And blur, blur, blur

And blur, blur, blur

The line between what we feel and what we see

Combines to create our reality

And blur, blur, blur

And blur, blur, blur

Copyright 2007 2-5 Music & whitchoc38 Music