Jim Allio "Kiss It Up to God" Lyrics

KISS IT UP TO GOD

When things don't go my way
And I wanna run run run
When I don't know what to do or say
Can't fix it, look for answers
Can't fix it, look for answers
But none come, none come, none come, none come

When there's nothing left to do
And no one, no place to go to
I finally remember to turn to you
And let go, let go, let go

Kiss It Up to God when I'm lost without a clue
Kiss It Up to God when I'm lonely and so blue
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God

When somebody does me wrong
And I wanna pay them back back back
When I wanna get revenge
Bide my time till they forget their attack
But it doesn't work, doesn't work, doesn't work
No it doesn't work, doesn't work, doesn't work

Finally I remember say a prayer
Wish all good things for them
Though I don't really mean it
I'm not there
I do it anyway, find the words to pray
Yes, I do it anyway, find the words to pray
And turn it over, turn it over, turn it over, turn it over

Kiss It Up to God when I'm lost without a clue
Kiss It Up to God when I'm lonely and so blue
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God

(Yeah) Kiss It Up to God when I'm lost without a clue
Kiss It Up to God when I'm lonely and so blue
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God
Kiss It Up to God, Kiss It Up to God

(Instrumental, then repeat chorus twice and fade)

Words and Music by James Allio
Copyright 2009 whitechocmusic

A Visible Life: RIP E. Lynn Harris

I'm glad I was already sitting down when I learned this morning that E. Lynn Harris had died. Reading the news in a post from a Facebook friend was like getting punched in the stomach. E. Lynn Harris dead? How can that possibly be? Oh my God...and then, typically, but I'm not through reading him! I was waiting to see what he'd come up with next!

It was that way with me and E Lynn since the beginning when I encountered his "Invisible Life" at the Barnes and Nobles outlet at Jack London Square in the midst of an unusually dark and troubled period of my life. The cover art - all blurred and phyne-ass folk - caught my eye and when I scanned the synopsis I knew I had to give this new author a shot. I brought the book home, opened it up and was instantly hooked. Harris was telling stories of people I knew living lives I understood and opening the curtain to lives I didn't. Downlow men, of whom I'd known my share, men of color, who comprised the majority of my homies, angry and conflicted men - the shock of recognition when I ran into myself was almost more than I could take. But I kept reading. Harris was a wonderful writer who specialized in short chapters that kept you turning the pages to find out what happened next, kinda like the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys cliffhanger mysteries I loved as a kid.

But Harris did more than just tell engrossing, laugh-out-loud, talk-to-the-book stories. In a time when AIDS was rampant and my friends were dying one by one, when sending gays to Alcatraz for quarantine was actually discussed (crazy, but I remember when it was), when the churches turned their back on homosexuals, when paranoia was at its highest, he wrote about young All-American African-American men who were closeted out of fear and what it cost them. He demonstrated with heart , wit and passion just how the Black church and the downlow subculture was contributing to the decimation of a whole community.

But this was no sociological treatise, though you could break it down as such. Harris loved his characters, even the gold diggers, even the family members who turned their backs on their gay sons and brothers, even the closeted bisexual football player, Basil, who spewed anti-gay venom in early books and had sex with men on the side. I often suspected he loved Basil most of all. His characters were three-dimensional and they struggled. Many appeared in several of his books, which could be read as continuing installments or as stand-alone works of can't-wait-to-see-what's-next fiction.

It got to where I couldn't wait for the next Harris book and would be at the bookstore the day they came out to buy them. Once my friend, Tony, who volunteered at the Center for AIDS Services with me, beat me to the punch and showed up with "Abide With Me" before I even knew it was out. And I well recall the Saturday I was at an airport bookstore in Houston and asked the clerk if she had "Not A Day Goes By," knowing damn well it didn't come out until the following Tuesday and she grinned, reached under the counter, and handed me an advance copy! I swear I knew God was lovin' me that day...

Maybe eight years ago, E Lynn came to San Francisco to read and meet fans at A Different Light, the pre-eminent Castro Street bookstore. I ended up in the second row. He came up to the podium in understated but full sartorial splendor and engaged his audience reading the first chapter of his new book. He had us laughing and nodding our heads as he read about a particularly wicked dinner party, and then he told a couple of personal stories before opening it up to let us meet him one by one.

This was my moment to let him know how much his books had helped me, how they had held my hand in dark dark times when I thought I might never emerge, how they had let me know I wasn't alone and things would get better. I wanted to tell him how he made me laugh and how he helped me understand things about myself and others I may not have gotten any other way. I had promised myself that if I ever have the chance to tell my heroes what they mean to me, I will do it, no matter how nervous or tongue-tied I feel. I've done it with Lesley Gore, I've done it recently with Deadlee.

And I did it that warm summer night with E Lynn Harris. I took that moment. I told him what I needed to tell him and his eyes welled up with tears and then mine did. It was contagious! We hugged and thanked each other. There was a long line of fans behind me and it was time to blend back in with the Castro Street throng.

RIP E Lynn Harris. You're already missed.

Deadlee, Johnny Dangerous, Tori Fixx "Pick Up The Mic"

From the opening booming synth chords of "No Fags Allowed," the anthemic Deadlee/Dutch Boy collaboration, "Pick Up the Mic" serves notice that we are embarking on a journey into barely charted territories: the diverse convergence of sound and words that makes up the burgeoning homohop (aka outhiphop) movement. Director Alex Hinton filmed more than a dozen LGBT rap artists for three years all over the United States, in concert and in their homes, and has created a vibrant, no-holds-barred look at the music and the musicians who make the music.

From the start it is clear that outhiphop artists are very aware that they are bucking the hiphop trend by being "out" and rapping about their real life experiences, which include their LGBT identities. Some have a clearly defined mission and imperative (Dutchboy, Deadlee, Tim'm T West), others hope to use their homohop notoriety as a springboard to mainstream success (Johnny Dangerous, God-Des), some are consciously political (Deep Dick Collective), others pointedly carnal (Dangerous, Tori Fixx) and others a combination of all of the above. These are brave writers and performers who have the courage of their convictions and make the music they want to make and say what they want - or possibly need - to say to a hugely underserved audience, LGBT rap fans, and there are hordes of us.

Among the many highlights are Aggracyst's emotional discovery of fellowship and camraderie and recognition that he is finally not alone in making this music; Miss Money's discovery that Dutchboy is actually bisexual; Tim'm's meeting with an ostensibly straight wanna-be rapper near Christopher Street and his adept, aware handling of the situation; God-Des' aching desire for huge mainstream acceptance; Juba Kalamaka's incisive delineation of what makes him do this music.

The many musical segments, most truncated, are the real highlights of this smart, well thought out film, and show the artists doing what they love doing. Johnny Dangerous' beat-heavy syncopated music is shown here to great effect, as is the prolific Tori Fixx's undeniably catchy material. Fixx is also shown to be more than just an artist, but a producer, manager and mentor, mantles many of the artists here have adopted, to their credit. Bay Area rapper Jenro looks like a serious contender based on the range shown in her two numbers.

Four Deadlee songs are featured here: the previously mentioned "No Fags Allowed," soulful, searing "Good Soldier,"" the in-your-face and horny "Suck Mah Gun," and the raunchy collaboration with Johnny Dangerous, "Crack Hit." Possibly due to all the musical spots, Deadlee primarily figures in the film as occasional sound bites and validation and encouragement for the artists who have come after him. However, he shows up in the generous (42 minutes) extras on this DVD, sharing his coming out story as do several of his peers, and, significantly, letting us into his private life with his then-partner Drastiko at home. This particular segment is as revolutionary and political as anything in this documentary given the climate engendered by Prop 8 (Prop H8).

"Pick Up The Mic" is an important, powerful and fascinating film, a peek inside a musical subculture that continues to grow and thrive. Kudos to Alex Hinton for putting his camera where his heart lies and celebrating these talented, determined and inspiring artists.

Spencer Day "Vagabond"

Los Angeles based singer-songwriter-pianist Spencer Day returns with his debut CD on the Concord Jazz label. Acclaimed as a smooth and jazzy vocalist in the tradition of saloon singers from Sinatra to Buble, Day distinguished himself by being out, by writing much of his own material, and not relying solely on the classic American pop and show tune standards that he could have easily built a career on. Citing the influence of Burt Bacharach, Roy Orbison and Dusty Springfield (sheesh, two out of three are dead), Day weaves a magical spell from the very first track, "Till You Come to Me," setting a very urban scene of yearning in a crowded humid noisy city. I can easily imagine the 60s Dusty Springfield singing this and several more of Day's sleek and urbane compositions. Likewise, the sinuous, complex, string-heavy arrangements really are reminiscent of Bacharach's 60s work with Dionne Warwick, and Brazilian flavors blend seamlessly into his mix.

Born in Utah and raised in rural Arizona, Day incorporates light country into his sound on songs like "Everybody Knows," a terrific song about the pressures of living in the closet. Day's vocals here range from measured and controlled to an urgent belt that appears off and on throughout this excellent record to perfect effect. "Weeping Willow," and "Tuesday Morning (Maybe)" reveal a very specific and thoughtful perspective as well as a bracing sense of humor. Several songs, like "Joe" and "Better Way," betray the young man's concerns for the world-at-large and young gay men in particular that is heartening.

Spencer Day has been blessed with a wonderful vocal instrument and rapidly evolving songwriting skills and he is a solid fit for the Concord Jazz label. "Vagabond" should catapult him into the upper echelon of modern singer-songwriters right alongside Rufus Wainwright and his ilk, and he deserves it. Don't be surprised if he is a household name before long due to the engaging and sophisticated music found on "Vagabond."

"Vagabond" will be released September 8, 2009, but will be available in advance of that date at live Spencer Day performances. In the San Francisco Bay Area, he will appear July 24-26 at Yoshi's San Francisco and July 27 at Kuumbwa Jazz in Santa Cruz. More info can be found at www.spencerday.com/.

This Time Next Year's Tour Launch Party at Blakes

Equal Vision Records hosted a tour launch party for their new rising alterna-punk stars, This Time Next Year, at Larry Blake's on Telegraph in Berkeley, a block from the UC Berkeley campus, and plenty of punk rock lovin' students showed up to show love for the band. This Time Next Year have been touring behind their two indie EPs nearly constantly and have built up a loyal cadre of hardcore fans for their unique blend of punk, rock and alternative pop. They did not disappoint fans with a solid set that mixed old favorites and new material from their full length Equal Vision label debut, "Road Maps and Heart Attacks," due in September. The only thing rowdier than the band was the mosh pit in front of the stage that grew wider and bigger song by song until it threatened to swallow up the vocally adept lead singer, Pete Dowdalls, who didn't seem to mind jumping into the crowd one iota. TTNY has developed into a crowd-pleasing band that has a blast on stage and takes its audience with them every badazz beat of the way. Can't wait for the new record. In the meantime, a couple of new tracks are available on itunes, and there is a real cool white vinyl 7-inch single available, too. Check them out at myspace.com/thistimenext year.