FAVORITE CONCERTS 2009

I probably attended less live music performances this year than I have in many years. That's primarily due to two factors: 1) the economy and 2) I've been performing myself at open mics and colleges at least every other weekend. Nevertheless I did manage to attend quite a few outstanding shows, the most musically exciting and emotionally ecstatic are listed below:

Lesley Gore, Yoshi's SF
Lily Allen, Warfield
Lesley Gore, Feinstein's, NYC
Deadlee, Project Artaud
Dwele, Yoshi's Oakland
This Time Next Year, Blake's Berkeley
Solange Knowles, Alameda County Fair, Pleasanton
Maxwell/Common/Chrisette Michele, Concord Pavilion
Dorian Wood, Homo A Go Go, SF
Pet Shop Boys, Warfield
Nellie McKay, Yoshi's SF
This Time Next Year, Bottom of the Hill, SF
Ashford and Simpson, RRazz Room

Also enjoyed Petula Clark; Tim'm West; Jeremy Gloff; Jack Jones

FAVORITE RECORDS 2009

2009 was one of the best years ever for music and it was easy to make a list of my favorite records. The only problem is that the list is so long! There are a couple of surprises, namely my favorite record of 2009, because it didn't even come out this year but a couple of years back. Those who follow my blog and facebook and twitter postings already know...my favorite record of 2009, hands down is (drumroll, pop ingenue opens the envelope):

DEADLEE - ASSAULT WITH A DEALEE WEAPON

Not only is "Assault" one of the finest, most ferocious and committed rap records of all time, it had a huge impact on me personally and on my music. When my next record is released in fall 2010, just how influential Deadlee has been in my new sound will be apparent...and look for a collaboration with Deadlee on that project, too!

THE REST OF THE LIST;

Ashanti, From the Vaults (Japan only release, rare & unreleased and better than all her domestic CDs combined)
The Bird and the Bee, Ray Guns Are Not Just the Future
Bry'NT, Porn Star II: The Director's Cut
Chris Brown, Graffiti
Chris Cornell, Scream
Common, Universal Mind Control
Drake, So Far Gone
Drew Mason, Paradigm Shift
Duffy, Rockferry bonus tracks
Dwele, Sketches of a Man
Jay-Z, Blueprint 3
Lily Allen, It's Not Me, It's You
Mariah Carey, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel (career best)
Maxwell, BLACK Summers Night
Musiq Soulchild, OnMyRadio
Pet Shop Boys, Yes (official & bonus remix discs)
Q-Tip, Kamaal the Abstract
Ryan Leslie, Transition (underrated, overlooked, off the chain)
Salvimex, Uniendo Fuerzas (also came out a couple years back, this one is made to blast out of your car speakers)
This Time Next Year, Road Maps and Heart Attacks
Tori Fixx, Fixxology

Also loved these 2009 releases by Amerie, Gossip, Lady Gaga and Ting Tings

Already getting into the brand new records by Mary J Blige, Timbland, Annie, Alicia Keys, Clipse, Trina's Mixtape with DJ Pain1, Lil Wayne and Robin Thicke

Advance Warning: Tori Fixx "RE-Fixxology" will set your pants on fire!

Drew Mason: The Music's In His Soul

It's not often that a relatively new, unknown young artist comes out of nowhere and makes an album so fresh, so competitive that it literally blows the top rap glitterati out of the water, but that is the case with Drew Mason and his new recording, "The Paradigm Shift." From the opening rap dancehall stomper, "Get It On" to the closing anthemic "This Music's In My Soul," Mason delivers what is no doubt the best out hiphop recording of 2009 and a very strong contender for finest rap album of the year.

Mason honed his skillz as a youngster in military school and at Madison Media Insitute in Wisconsin and released two solo rap albums as "Lil" Drew Mason, notably "Trials and Tribulations" in 2005. Relocating to San Diego to intern at Capricorn Studios, he did more than learn recording techniques while there: he came to terms with his sexuality and recognized that if he was to continue rapping authentically and honestly, he would have to make a crucial decision. Whether to come out as a gay man and rap about his experiences, or stay in the closet like so many of his peers, possibly garnering hits but not being true to himself. Mason chose to reinvent himself as an out and proud gay rap artist. As he states several times on this project, notably on the rousing, uplifting "Preach:" "I'm a gay white rapper and the next Tupac." No equivocation, no apology, he's way past that. He is telling his truth and illuminating the interior lives of his listeners.

"The Paradigm Shift" is chockfull of should-be hits, from the passionate, implacable "In A World All Alone" to a surprisingly spiritual "Unity," and tells the story of his journey from closeted rap hopeful to California based out hip hop rap star in jams like "Flippin It Poetic," the irresistible "G-R-I-N-D" (I defy you to listen to it and not have it on repeat in your mind all day long), and "Big Up to Cali." "No More Mister Nice Guy" opens with gay rap superstar Deadlee serving notice that "this faggot's off his leash" and he is not kidding, y'all! Don't look for us to be yo bff or fit into whatever slot is comfortable for you - this ain't no Will and Grace shit! And then there's "This Music's In My Soul" which closes the album on a note of unity and celebration, and has an awesome companion animated video that is airing on LOGO now.

Production from the superb DJ Pain amongst others is off the Richter from start to finish, and "Paradigm Shift" is on bump from beginning to end. It can't have been an easy transition from Lil Drew to out rapper Drew Mason, but he has pulled it off with aplomb, no doubt inspiring many young folks as he does. Which brings me to my original thought: could "Paradigm Shift" really be the best rap album of the year? Eminem came and went, at first dazzling but ultimately leaving a bad taste in my mouth; Common, Q-Tip and Jay-Z dropped brilliantly done crowd-pleasers, further cementing their reps; Lil Wayne hasn't reclaimed his groove; and Drake lives up to his touts. But as far as straight-up REAL hip hop, "Paradigm Shift" is the real deal. Drew Mason tells the truth about his life and the lives of others who are still pathetically unrepresented, marginalized and buffoondalized and does it with style and panache. Plus I dare you to play this record just three times and not become addicted!

Never Being Boring: Pet Shop Boys at Warfield, San Francisco

IN MEMORY OF DENNIS ALLEN SIDMORE RIP DENNIS

It's the early 1990s. All my friends are either dead or dying from AIDS. I'm working at the Post Office doing data entry 8-12 hours a day, feeling real sorry for myself and fighting a formidable drug and alcohol problem that I couldn't seem to shake. I was full of rage, and had no clue that underneath all that anger was a massive load of straight-up fear. My best friend, Dennis, had gone from movie-star-good-looking to cadaver-with-a-sense-of-humor in what seemed like no time. I used to visit him every day, sit and talk, play with my dog, Cujo Marie, a dachshund-chihuaha mix that I left with him when I moved out a few years earlier.

Dennis and I had been lovers for a few years. He had enough money that I didn't have to work, but I had too much pride not to. I was unhappy at my drone job at the phone company, and having limitless spending money did allow me to quit working there and pursue one of my dreams: to work at a record store. I landed a night manager gig at Odyssey Records on Telegraph in Berkeley, about a block from campus. This was back when record stores stayed open until midnight. This was back when record stores - and records - actually existed as viable businesses. I had a lot of fun on that job, but drugs were rampant and Dennis and I began partying. Eventually I moved out and got my own place in Daly City and went back to the phone company.

We remained friends and kept in touch. I struggled with my addictions and Dennis got clean. He even became a drug counselor for a few years. I ended up moving back onto his property in Oakland and renting one of the cottages he had there. I had a new job and life was looking up. Dennis was in love and I got along well with his new partner. Then they began having problems and Dennis relapsed and acted out for a long time. His ex introduced me to crystal meth and I ended up strung out for the next 10 years.

Dennis got real sick real fast. I began trying to get clean, but I couldn't seem to do it. One day I was over his house after my latest relapse and he just chuckled in that froggy croak that passed for his voice and said, "Don't give up, Jimmy. You're just simple enough that recovery could work for you."

I didn't take offense. I always knew Dennis was my friend and, hey, I was very aware that I was not the brightest bulb in the batch. I went to work that day and did my data entry. The only good thing about the job - aside of course from the money - was that we could listen to CDs all day. I remember listening to Pet Shop Boys' "Behavior," especially the song, "Being Boring," and I felt like it summed up everything gay men had been going through, from moving to the city in search of freedom, to wilding out, to the epidemic , and I used to cry softly as I sang along and keyed up the mail. I didn't really care if anyone saw me and, anyway, no one was really paying attention to this sad old burn-out. Just one of many at the Post Office.

A couple of weeks later, Dennis' mother called me. She told me that Dennis would not be at home that morning and that I should come to Summit Hospital immediately as it appeared he was close to death. It happened so fast, man. I got there in time to sit by him and hold his hand and tell him I loved him. He had this big-ass mask on his face but he squeezed my hand real tight. I left in tears and went to work. A couple hours later, his Mom, Marie, told me that my best friend was dead.

I was bereft. My heart was broken. Marie and I became good friends in the aftermath of Dennis' death. No one else knew him the way that we did, and at the time, AIDS was considered a horrific plague. People used to openly say that gay men should be shipped to Alcatraz and left to die. It was a terrible time in many ways.
.
I finally got clean and stayed clean. I began helping other people to get clean also, and that became my saving grace. I became a volunteer at the Center for AIDS Services in Oakland and was able to make a little difference. Marie and I remained close until she passed away. My life changed in many, many ways. Surprising everyone including myself, I morphed into a singer-songwriter. On my first album, "Better Late Than Never," I wrote a song called "Gone Not Forgotten," part of which was about Dennis and no one else:

"You said I could be somebody
You said I already was
Gave me space to chase my dreams
All for love, all for love
Then you ran wild and you got sick
Sat with you every day
I know I'll see you one fine day
I'm still here, baby

Gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...but not forgotten
No, no not forgotten"

So are you wondering how The Pet Shop Boys concerts at the Warfield in San Francisco ties in with this? Do you feel cheated because you expect my usual glowing review? Well, the shows were fantastic. I met a bunch of folks there and ended up right up front. The Pet Shop Boys verbalized so many things I didn't have words for at the time about the experience of being gay in the 1990s and beyond, and their shows are incredible. And both nights when they closed the show proper with "Being Boring," I sang along and cried, so grateful to have had a friend as true as Dennis Sidmore, and so grateful to have survived and have the life I live today.

"Cause we were never Being Boring
We had too much time to find for ourselves
And we were never Being Boring
We dressed up and fought, then thought: make amends
And we were never holding back or worried that
Time would come to an end
Cause we were never Being Boring
We were never being bored"

Tennant/Lowe

RIP Dennis Sidmore. I miss you. You're gone, but not forgotten. I still feel you in my heart.

SIDEBAR: I learned the other day that back in the day The Pet Shop Boys and Deadlee were talking about doing a song together. Deadlee is working on his next album. That collaboration would be pure magic. I don't think it's too late to get that idea going again!

Musical Heroes: Pet Shop Boys, Ari Gold, Deadlee, Lesley Gore

Ari Gold's new video debuted online at afterelton.com last week. It's for his ballad,"I Can Forgive You," a mature reflection on accepting the circumstances of a messy love affair gone awry, sung with the panache of Justin Timberlake with the kind of flexible, gorgeous voice Timberlake probably wishes he could muster nowadays. It's from his terrific "Transport Systems" CD, and differs from other R&B break-up ballads in that Gold is singing it to a man. Like the other songs on his record, he addresses issues currently intrinsic to the gay male experience, like the crystal meth epidemic ("Feeding the Fire"), the pleasures of casual encounters ("Ride to Heaven") and dealing with guys on the downlow ("Mr. Mistress"). It's joyful addictive dance-pop and Gold sings it all in his honeyed tenor without apology or grandstanding. He is who he is and he sings about his life as it is. I can only imagine the positive impact he has on young gay boys coming up and listening to his music.

That got me thinking about my musical heroes and their impact on me, and I realized that they all fall within the LGBT umbrella. The Pet Shop Boys who gave voice to my experience long before I was able to; the brilliant rapper Deadlee, whose ground-breaking, rule-smashing raps have set the template for new generations of outhiphop stars like the gifted Bry'Nt and vociferous Bone Intell and who has served as my muse and inspiration ever since I began exploring his work this year; and Lesley Gore, the 60s pop icon who came out of the closet and released her most mature, fully realized recording simultaneously.

It struck me that in my ongoing journey of self-discovery and personal growth (I almost gag writing those words but they're accurate), my embrace of musical artists who are open about their sexual preference and create music from their experiences was as authentic and organic as it was unconscious until now when I put it together. I know it's a sign of emotional, spiritual and mental health. I guess you don't know what you know until it's time for you to know it.

So I follow my musical heroes with enthusiasm and passion and I use what they do to encourage me to continue creating my own music. I saw Lesley Gore perform twice this year, at Yoshi's San Francisco and Feinstein's New York City, and when she sang the classic Billie Holiday blues, "Little Girl Blue" and chose to change the pronouns to "little boy lost in search of little boy found," I was far from the only person in the club with tears in his eyes. Ari Gold is working on his next project, touring and appearing off-Broadway. Deadlee is hard at work on his third recording, undoubtedly the most hotly anticipated out hip hop record ever, and continuing his unceasing outreach and support of the artists who have come behind him. The Pet Shop Boys' "Pandemonium" tour hits San Francisco tomorrow night and you know I will be there!

So this is a love song in words to my musical heroes, thanking them for the music, the courage, the inspiration, the balls to be who they are in a world and an industry that is still rife with homophobia. They each are so talented that they could have made it without being out and open, yet they chose to be who they are and their art and our culture are immeasurably enriched. Do yourself a favor and check out their work - vital, fresh and exciting. You won't regret it. You have my word on that!

Jim Allio Takes "Second Chance" to Club Sapphire

Ever wonder what it might be like to write, record and release a couple of records and yet never have set foot on a nightclub stage to sing your material, or even sing into a microphone while performing live? Maybe not, but that was the case with me, Jim Allio, the writer of this blog and the singer-songwriter responsible for two CDs, "Better Late Than Never" (2007) and this year's "Second Chance." I'd been asked to perform several times in the past couple of months, and last Saturday, I bit the bullet and did a two-song set at Club Sapphire in San Francisco. What was it like? I'll tell you all about it, but for those who don't know, here's a brief history:

1 - My friend, Martin, is moving and sells me his 4-track tape recorder for $100, showing me how I can use it to create up to four vocal tracks. I start playing with it, doubling my voice or singing one man harmony duets with myself. When I play them back, I think, "Huh...I used to sing better than that."

2 - I take a Voice class at Laney College with Professor Lucy Kinchen. She teaches vocal technique and encourages students to perform one of the five songs she has her class learn each semester. Terrified, but wanting to get the full experience, I do "Moon River" at the end of the semester and am shocked when I get a great response. I continue taking the class.

3 - I start running into folks who have taken the class with me, and who ask me to sing background on their records, or do duets or trios with them, or even adlib with their jazz band. I begin to feel encouraged, although I notice every time I get up to sing, it's a crap shoot whether I will let the fear overwhelm me. Each semester I sing for the class and in Laney open mikes.

4 - I begin hanging out with a local Oakland hiphop hopeful, Skarlo Paine. We drive around town playing new beats and tracks he is creating for his first record. For some reason, I'm not shy around him, and I riff off the cuff lyrics or just vocalese as we drive. It's fun.

5 - Paine learns I have a whole book of poems or lyrics lying around and looks at some of them, then asks me to consider writing a lyric for one of this tracks and then sing it. This becomes the song, "Help Me," which he includes on his 2005 record, "Distorted Melodies," and, surprisingly, it becomes the best received tune on the record.

6 - Paine next suggests I do my own record, with him producing, creating beats and tracks, and collaborating with me on the melodies. I'm not scared. I'm excited. We record off and on for a year and a half and in February 2007, "Better Late Than Never" is released and receives a good review in the East Bay Express.

7 - I continue taking Voice with Ms. Kinchen and perform several of the songs from my CD for the class and at Laney College open mikes. Stage fright is real but I keep getting up.

8 - I start work on my second CD, this time producing and arranging it as well as writing the lyrics and melodies. It becomes "Second Chance" and is released in February 2009. Friends begin helping me make videos of songs from the record to put on YouTube and that process begins making cracks in the wall of my stage fright. I also realize that people are genuinely digging some of the songs and that bolsters my confidence as well.

9 - Through a series of flukes and coincidences that, in hindsight, were obviously meant to be, I meet the rap star, Deadlee, and spend several nights hanging out with him and talking about everything under the sun, with a big emphasis on music and performing. He advises me to perform anywhere I can and to take an acting class. He has a heavy personal impact on me and my confidence inexplicably grows even more. Later he tells me he loves my CD and plans to write a review on it, and that sincere encouragement pushes me to the next level.

10 - Friends begin introducing me to other musicians and performers as Jim Allio, the recording artist, and I don't shy away. I begin to be asked to perform. At first I demur, but then I remember what Deadlee recommended, and I recognize that these doors are opening so I can walk through them, and I accept my first gig.

So here I am, at Club Sapphire on Sacramento Street, at a video shoot and birthday party for a Burmese pop star, Zadanya, a friend of my homie, writer-activist Randy Wong. I bring tracks for five songs with the vocals wiped and it is decided I will sing a couple of them between band sets. I'm nervous but not unreasonably so. This isn't ghetto Laney. This is a big party, 200 guests, all dressed up, and the only folks I know are Randy, Zadanya and another singer, Buschie. I realize with a start that I've never sung live with a microphone but decide to cross that bridge when they hand the mic to me.

Soon I'm sitting on stage waiting for them to cue my first song, "Wonderful Life." I get up and just start singing. I'm surprised that I'm not all that nervous now. The mic is no problem. I look around at the crowd. Shit. Most of them ain't payin' me NO mind, dog! This doesn't piss me off. It has the opposite effect. It relaxes me. I let go and just blow. I know the set is being filmed and I even play to the camera a bit. Buschie steps onstage and hands me a rose. I'm so surprised it doesn't dawn on me to kiss her on the cheek so I just say thanks, don't miss a beat and keep singing.

My second number is my most ambitious, "Little Boy Lost," a six minute ballad that changes tempo several times and requires me to go within and sing from my soul. I discover I'm able to go there, and I notice peripherally some folks appreciating what I am doing. Zadanya approaches the stage twice thinking the song is over and I tell him, "Not yet, almost" and keep going. It feels wonderful. I reach the end of the song and hold the last note a little longer than I do on the record. The crowd applauds warmly and I'm done.

I feel great. Later I see the videos and I'm okay with them. I learn that the chewing on hard candy has to go, but overall for my first time I am happy. I know I can do this and now my next challenge is to find other places to sing and do it on the regular. And I will.

The past few months I've been writing lyrics like crazy. My notebook is already half full and is my most constant companion. Some melodies are coming and I've started a few tracks. Record #3 is beginning to shape itself, but it won't be out until 2011. Until then, I will continue singing my songs in public and honing my performance skills. Now I know I can do this!

Videos of my live performances can be found on YouTube. Just search for "Jim Allio" and you'll see them.

Dorian Wood Burns Down the House at HomoAGoGo

I attended two days of the four day long Homo A Go Go festival, relocated this year from Olympia, Washington to San Francisco and saw a number of excellent LGBT acts, including Tim'm West with Dunce Apprentice and Sam Sax, and Jeremy Kloff. I'm inspired to submit my own music to the festival for possible inclusion next time. But the hands down highlight of the acts I caught was the incredible Dorian Wood from Southern California and his band, comprised of four (!) accordions, a drummer and a guitarist. Together they made some of the most joyful and spiritual noise I've been privileged to experience in a very long time. I take Voice from a teacher named Lucy Kinchen at Laney College in Oakland. Every semester the class learns and performs a Negro spiritual, and the process is reliably uplifting and illuminating. Dorian Wood brought the same spirit to the SOMarts stage this past Sunday.

I first encountered Wood when he sang the chilling hook on Deadlee's brilliant "Vengeance," then didn't recognize the same voice doing the beautiful hook on Salvimex's evocative "Tributo A Mi Tierra." Finally, watching a youtube video of Wood, Deadlee and Johnny Turok touring pyramids in Mexico, the light bulb went on as I watched him walk and sing with the most beautiful voice imaginable, that this was the real deal, a vocalist par excellence. I began exploring youtube videomaterial on him - and there is a treasure trove of clips worth seeking out - and there I found not only a serious singer-songwriter but an absolutely insane performance artist who might come out on stage with a veil over a pillowcase over his face, or dressed up as an animal, or sporting a porkpie hat and macho swagger. Intrigued, and learning he would be performing locally at HomoAGoGo, I downloaded his recent EP, "Black Pig Suite," and discovered a true original, fiercely reconciling cabaret, rock, pop, blues and spirituals in one musically challenging and invigorating package.

So I came to HomoAGoGo this past Sunday with eagerness and high hopes for an inspiring live show. I was not disappointed. From the rousing opener, "Pigfeed Blues" from the aforementioned EP, to the crowd-pleasing "The Real" with its succinctly relatable refrain, "no one breaks my heart and lives," and "The Mutual," Wood brought uncommon focus and commitment to his lyrics. And then there is his voice - a true force of nature, he goes from a whisper to a growl to a torrent of emotion to a howl and took me with him every note of the way. He may be the finest new singer - and he probably will hate being considered "new" - I've run into in years. As a singer, I appreciate what he does and I can't help but be a little envious of his instrument and what he is able to do with it.

The too-short set culminated in an extended version of "Well Well Well" from his heart-rending "Bolka" project, which I just bought yesterday after his show and am already hooked on. Wood began by asking the audience if they had been to church that morning and started singing the name Jesus over and over, finding new emotion and nuance each time, before launching into a fearless take on the song that was more church than any of us had likely been in many a day. He walked to the very lip of the stage and roared, growled, howled and just went all the fuck off like a man possessed in a riveting performane that had jaws dropping and folks cheering simultaneously.

Tough, sexy and spiritual, with songs that are challenging, deep and rewarding and hell yes that voice, Dorian Wood is indeed one of the finest singers I've ever heard. I look forward to other - longer - live shows by him and his next musical project. It will no doubt be worth seeking out.